Its been a month since I've last written, and now we are gearing up to go home in just 3 days. We will arrive home on August 19th- jacob's 45th birthday, just two weeks before the kids start school.
Our last month we moved from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv and then to ramat hasharon. While we were in Jerusalem our routine was pretty much bring the kids to camp, I would work at a nearby coffee shop, jacob would go and study hebrew and some judaic classes and then we would spend the afternoons eating and hanging out and then go out to one of the glorious playgrounds. In the two weeks we were there we ran into so many people that knew someone I knew. At a playground one evening I started speaking with someone who then realized that I was the yonit that our mutual friend Irit had told her was doing a sabbatical- becuase she was also a pediatrician on a sabbatical! We didn't do too much sightseeing as it was hot and I also have seen most things things, and the kids are still young to appreciate the history of the place- but we did do the underground water tunnels that were excavated in the last decade and had a really fascinating history dating back thousands of years and still essentially carrying water through them. And on our last day there we visited the acquarium which housed fish from all of the seas around israel
We had a bit of a car curfufal when jacob came to meet me at the tunnels and left the keys to the car we had rented for the weekend in the cab! It was the one time we had keys with no airtag on them- and the one time we had lost them! After renting 6 other cars these last 8 months i am still thinking it is impressive that we made it that far!
When we moved from Jerusalem to TLV we did not have a place to stay- we were supposed to rent an apartment for a month and that fell through after the Iran war and we hadn't been able to find an affordable place. So the night before moving we picked an apartment that had a bomb shelter in it- because that was now the criteria as there were sirens weekly and we didnt want to have to wake the kids up each time and traumatize them. It was more money than we wanted to spend but we were sort of desperate. When we arrived to TLV and i walked into the apartment i felt like we were living in a bar- there were neon lights, the apartment was pretty small and had very steep stairs separating the two bedrooms. I pictured my energetic children running up and down in the middle of the night and causing a traumatic brain injury- like the 8 year old girl who was essentially brain dead that i had taken care of a few years back who had done the same thing. And I was out of there. We moved to my parents place for the night, the kids were amazing and went with it- they were starting camp the next day and took it all in stride. And jacob and i spent the next day touring apartments to find soemthing. We were able to negotiate for a last minute deal at this amazing place over looking the beach just a few blocks from my parents place. And with all of my attempts to sway airbnb they were not going to give us even a cent back in refunds. So we knew that after the 11 days of staying in this amazing apartment we would need to find a place for free because our budget was spent and then some. During our time there my first cousin had a wedding party- we got to see our whole extended family, and we met lots of my parents friends.
That week we went to the beach most days, jacob dropped the kids at camp and then would run back along the beach. I went food shopping in the shuk just a few blocks away and we were enjoying the time. My sisters were in town for my cousins wedding, and it was fun to see all of my extended family and spend some time with my sisters in Israel as well. The camp however was not great for adira, and after a few days we pulled her out. In israel, most kids stay in preschool until 1st grade, and the preschool provides camp as well. So there were few options for kids her age. We spent a day visiting my cousin Doron's art studio- you can see her stuff here: https://www.doronadorian.com/ where there also happend to be a camp for older kids that adira jumped in and out of while doron and i had coffee together. And the rest of the week adira was with my mom for a few hours while i worked. We met a family who is sending their daughter to school with Adira this coming year at Hannah Senesh Day School- and the kids played for hours in the park while we ate and drank and got to know the parents.
Over the weekend, we went to visit Nachal Oz- a kibbutz that was attacked and many were killed or taken hostage from on October 7th. We visited a family who had stayed at my sister's house last summer on a program to get a vacation of sorts away from it all. They have 4 children, and their parents when the attack occured grabbed their son's gun who was home from the army- put all of the kids in the safe room and started shooting from the roof. They managed to protect the house, and when the israeli army came after the terrorists had left they saw the dad on the roof with a gun and thought he was a terrorist and killed him. They had left the kibbutz like all the members, and just 3 weeks ago returned. We had a tour and could see gunshots and blood still on some buildings, they told stories of the hostages from each home we past. It was an emotional day and yet you could see what a beautiful place the kibbutz was at some time- how it held the environment i was seeking- kids roaming around free and barefoot.
The first day we moved out of the apartment into my parents place for 4 days was Adira's birthday. We threw her a sweet birthday party at a nearby park with families we had met along our time in Israel. There was a family from Kibbutz Gezer where I grew up, a family we had met in Italy who lived about 45 minutes away, a family in tel aviv who my parents introduced us to, and a family who lived in ramat hasharon who was generously giving us their home while they traveled abroad for two weeks. The kids had met them each just once or twice but had gotten along so well each time. Everyone always commented when they met our kids " They are so friendly its really amazing" and I think it is a combination of who they are and of this trip, which has taught them how to make friends fast with people from anywhere who speak any language. We had a water balloon toss and a pinata and Adira was on cloud 9!
When we stayed at my parents jacob and i accompanied my mom to one of the protests in hostage square- this was the week that Hamas released the video of the hostages who were starving and looked like holocaust survivors. The square is filled with people holding booths for family members, communities, who were or are hostages. There was a beautiful havdala service put on by the reform movement, and i cried so hard the whole time. Then there are people coming to speak on a large stage telling stories and begging the government- israeli and american- to stop the war and bring home their loved ones. There is another protest just a few blocks away that my mom usually attends after this one which is protesting the current israeli government, but just a few days prior she had been at a protest and was tear gased and got pretty shaken up. There were about 60,000 israelis at hostage square though, so we couldnt make it to the anti government protest.
One of the things I worried about when we were coming here was how it would feel to be here during this time- politically and emotionally. Mostly it has felt sad. People are broken. People are grieving. People are tired, and also just trying to live.
We left tel aviv and moved to ramat hasharon just 30 minutes north in a suburb. Shiloh did surf camp, and was very proud of his ability to stand on a surf board and catch a wave each time he tried! Adira went to camp with Liv her friend that we had met in Italy, in this adorable backyard where she was barefoot with dogs and bunnies and they made things out of reusable materials and cooked every day. Adira had her first sleepover! It was at Liv's house, and although she went to bed late- they told me she was just very thankful to them for letting her sleep over! We went to meet my friend Tamar and her family one night at a pool near their grandparents house, and then watched the sunset at the beach together. And shiloh had a sleepover at our Italy friend's house one night as well. Our connection with this family was so special for us as they met us on this journey, shared many values, and we were able to meet them again in a different place on the trip! We ended the week at my cousin's house- and Jacob said we are just as busy here socially as we are in Brooklyn!
We are starting to plan our arrival home and thinking through the emotions it might be bringing up. I have so much gratitude for this trip, but I also have some things we didnt get to experience that I had hoped we would, and it feels like a missed opportunity in some ways. I dont know when or if we will get to do this again, and there is something about middle age that feels like i have to hold these moments so near because time moves quickly. We left with many questions that I hoped to answer, and most of them I wasn't able to- like where do we think is the best place for our family to thrive in living, and what is my next career move...but we also answered questions i didnt realize i wanted answers to. I didnt seem to rid myself of those awful parenting responses i sometimes have when i'm quick to react and anger, but i did learn to recognize them quicker and catch myself some of the times. I learned how good it feels when i do meditatte and exercise everyday, and also how hard it is to do that all of the time. We were challenged in so many ways, and we grew as a family and as individuals in ways i dont think we would have at home. Just today we spent the day at this home doing much of nothing all day, which is something we very rarely did in Brooklyn- and I felt like we gained those skills- we learned how to hang out with each other without going stir crazy too quickly. I set out a bunch of pots and pans and water and the kids made a mudd kitchen in the backyard without instruction.
A friend of mine asked what will you bring with you that you gained from this trip- mostly i am hoping we slow down a bit. Spend more time just being together. I also recognized yet again how important nature is for me. So i will try to find ways to incorporate that into my life even if just running in the park- more regularly. I have also learned a bit more about what we all need, and how i might be able to respond when we aren't able to all get that.
We learned spanish and hebrew, some italian. We learned :
Shiloh learned to surf, had his first sleepover, learned to SUP, to Ninja, to multiply, and to eat fish and beans!
Adira learned to swim, had her first sleepver, learned to write the word BOB, and to smile when she is nervous and how that helps her make friends!
Yonit learned some past tense in spanish, became a certified lactation consultant, is in the midst of her first qualitative research study, published some papers, and restarted meditation and HITT workouts!
Jacob got into hyrox, read lots of books, learned some judaic studies, and made headway on his to do lists.
THings we brought on the trip that were helpful:
Stitches without stiches (that i thankfully didnt have to use)
Shiloh's kindle ( which he read more books than we can count on)
Snack Tins (always helpful to pack snacks ready to go, and also for camps and schools)
Mineral Based Sunscreen (which is surprisingly so difficult to get abroad)
My favorite cleanser made from manuka honey
This swimsuit from Amazon that doubled as an outfit and also kept me from burning in the sun
Games: cards, uno, travel chess set, stuffed animals and clothing/blankets for play, travel art supplies, books and more books that we got everywhere we went because my kids devour them
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